By Aron Wallad
Funny Baseball Quotes
A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nineinnings. Earl Wilson
When they start the game, they don't yell, "Work ball." Theysay, "Play ball." Willie Stargell, 1981
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty andgo back. Woody Allen
A baseball park is the one place where a man's wife doesn't mindhis getting excited over somebody else's curves. Brendan Francis
There have been only two geniuses in the world. Willie Mays andWillie Shakespeare. Tallulah Bankhead
Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the onlyway we can get to shake a bat at a white man without starting ariot. Dick Gregory
What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the WorldSeries? No cubs. Harry Caray
Confucius say: Baseball wrong - man with four balls cannot walk.Author Unknown
With the money I'm making, I should be playing two positions.Pete Rose, 1977
Andre Dawson has a bruised knee and is listed as day-to-day.Aren't we all? Vin Scully
Cricket is baseball on valium. Robin Williams
Finish last in your league and they call you Idiot. Finish lastin medical school and they call you Doctor. Abe Lemons
The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing. Dizzy Dean
I managed a team that was so bad we considered a 2-0 count onthe batter a rally. Rich Donnelly, minor league manager
Let no one accuse baseball of not being tough on drugs. Duringhis baseball career, Steve Howe was given 7 lifetimesuspensions. Bill Ferraro, baseball fan.
I could never play in New York. The first time I came into agame there, I got into the bullpen car and they told me to lockthe doors. Mike Flanagan, Baltimore Orioles
On his own scouting report: "Very deceptive. Slower than helooks. Joe Garagiola
A lot of things run through your head when you're going in torelieve in a tight spot. One of them was, 'Should I spike myself? Lefty Gomez
Three more saves and he ties John the Baptist. Hank Greenwald,on Bruce Sutter
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